Why Haven’t Disability Moms Been Told These Facts?
From the very beginning, it feels like the disability parenting journey is flooded with the silence of the things we’re not told. Despite the wealth of special needs parenting advice available, there are crucial truths that often go unspoken in mainstream discussions about raising a child with a disability. Why haven’t we been told these facts? And how different might our journey be if we had known them from the start?
1. You Are Not Alone—Even When It Feels Like You Are
This journey feels like it’s mine and mine alone. It’s hard for me to be open about all of our struggles, because I can’t expect others to understand… If that resonates with you, it proves we’re both wrong! The sense of isolation can be overwhelming, but there is a vast, supportive community of parents navigating similar experiences. Disability family resources, support groups, online forums, and advocacy organizations can provide connections, guidance, and encouragement. Against all odds, social media can be a sort of haven for moms like us!
2. You Don’t Have to Just Accept Accessibility Barriers
Many moms assume that limited accessibility is just the way things are, but the reality is that advocacy can lead to real change. From local playgrounds to national parks, pushing for inclusive design benefits not just your child, but entire communities. It’s exhausting to think of adding advocacy to your already never ending to-do list, but remember the first fact: you’re not alone. Your voice matters, and there are masses waiting for your lead, ready to amplify your voice.
3. Your Mental Health Matters Too
Caregiver burnout is real, and yet, many disability moms feel guilty for taking time for themselves. The truth is, prioritizing your mental and physical health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary in order for you to continue giving your kids the quality of care they need.. Seeking therapy, respite care, or even getting away can help sustain you for the long haul. Parenting a child with a disability comes with unique stresses, making self-care essential.
4. Medical Experts Are Invaluable—But You Are the Expert on Your Child
My motto is always to ask everyone and trust no one. Doctors and therapists offer essential insights, but no one knows your child better than you do. Trust your instincts, ask questions, and don’t be afraid to advocate for different approaches when something doesn’t feel right. Specialists are great, but no one is able to take in the full picture the way you are. When you stand up for your kids needs, you’re also teaching your kid the importance of self-advocacy.
5. Inclusion Is a Right, Not a Privilege
I know we’re all working really hard to make sure our kids are included, but that doesn’t make us a nuisance. Schools, public spaces, and businesses are legally required to provide accessibility and accommodations. Inclusion is not some sort of special treatment. There’s nothing wrong with being the squeaky wheel when this grease should’ve been offered a long time ago.
6. Your Child’s Future Holds Possibilities You’ve Never Imagined
From the start, we’re warned about our kids’ limitations. We’re told all they won’t be able to do, but we’re rarely shown the possibilities. Adaptive sports, inclusive college programs, employment opportunities, accessible travel, and independent living resources continue to grow. Our kids’ greatest limitation is often our own expectations. Ouch. Expect more. Dare to dream again. Open up your world to the thousands of adults with disabilities living fulfilling lives across career choices and lifestyles.
7. You Are Doing an Incredible Job
So much of what you do is unseen, mundane necessity, and will never be celebrated… but you’re a rockstar. You get out of bed and do hard things. Every. Day. Your love is shaping the future. Even on the hardest days, you are enough. Even through your worst mistakes, you’re giving your best – and that matters.
